“I need healing!”

“Murph, over here! I’m wounded!”

“Heal me!”

“I need healing!”

I aim my Initiate Chimes at Plun and cast Heal. The spell sends a circular golden orb crawling through the air. It misses my party by a wide margin and vanishes into the dungeon wall.

“I need healing!”

Chimes must be the silliest weapons ever invented: a combination Menora/Wind Chime, with candles on top and musical instrument on bottom. I dangle the Holy weapon away from my body, trying not to light my loose-fitting Initiate Robes on fire.

“I need healing!”

“Murph, top me up!”

A second golden orb leaves my Chimes. It grazes Plun’s buttock before connecting with an enemy Bandit, saving her from the brink of death.

“Whose side are you on, dipshit?!”

At first, the enemy tried to focus-fire me. They soon realized I can self-Heal, and furthermore that I can’t hit anyone else with this slow-moving skillshot.

That’s why I, LVL 3 Cleric Murphy, am standing in the center of the fight bodyblocking for our Mage Vant.

“I need healing!”

By divine providence I finally land a Heal on our Rogue Tess as she weaves around. Tess and I have … philosophical disagreements about the proper way to play Rogue. I’d rather she STAY IN ONE PLACE and shoot arrows. Instead she insists on running in dagger style.

“I need healing!”

“I JUST HEALED YOU!”

—

I met a few minor setbacks since last week.

Class Choice is an archaic name. Once upon a time, nobody picked Cleric. The Church complained. Now “The Goddess” chooses for you. Class Choice is permanent.

Clerics are members of the Church who specialize in Healing and Purity magic. Main stat FTH, secondary INT. Stats are determined by LVL and equipment, but also can be trained individually.

The basic Heal spell is a skill-shot single-target heal. The size and power of the orb scale off FTH, and the speed of the orb scales off INT.

XP sharing is out of whack in this world. XP for a kill is divided equally among all players who dealt damage to the enemy and all players who healed them. With my weak and impossible-to-aim Heal spell, this becomes an issue.

One might ask, “Why is your Heal so weak, Murphy? Have you been slacking off?”

To make a long story short:

—

INT is trained by reading the Training Books in the Library. The moment I got a free hour I went over to get some INT buffs. Here’s the first line of Training Book 1:

Yberz vcfhz qbybe fvg nzrg, pbafrpgrghe nqvcvfpvat ryvg...